6 Pumpkin Spice Flavored Nightmares

 

Six Pumpkin Spice Flavored Nightmares

 



     Let it be known that I love pumpkin spice.  More specifically, I love it when cinnamon, cloves, allspice and nutmeg are mixed together in a delicate balance of earthy spice and delicate heat to create the delectable magic of the Fall season that we all loving refer to as "pumpkin spice". 

     I hope that we've all discovered by now that the label "pumpkin spice" does not mean that the product has actual pumpkin in it.  In many products, that's ok.  Take my favorite Pumpkin Spice coffee creamer for instance.  I don't really want big chunks of pumpkin floating around in my morning coffee, so I'm more than happy to have the illusion of pumpkin delivered to me via a glorious spicy blend. 

 

     But just because you can add pumpkin spice to just about anything, doesn't mean that you should.  Check out some of these Fall foodie nightmares:

 

Pumpkin Spice Hummus

     Who on earth thought, "I know, let's combine pumpkin and garbanzo beans into a thick paste, and sell it to people who eat pita chips."  Um, no.  Pumpkin Spice can cover a lot of culinary sins, but garbanzo beans is not one of them.

 

Pumpkin Spice Jerky

     No amount of pumpkin spice is going to turn your meat snacks into a piece of pumpkin pie.  It's just not going to happen.  It may be time to dream another dream.

 

Pumpkin Pie Soda

  Pumpkin Spice is a delicious concoction of spicy flavors, it is not, however, a thirst quenching flavor combination.  After I've been working in the yard raking leaves all day, the last thing I want to do is chug a watered-down, carbonated bottle of cinnamon and cloves.  It makes my throat hurt just thinking about it.

 

Pumpkin Spice Peanut Butter

     This is another one of those weird flavor combinations that are an abomination to the senses.  If you wouldn't smear a blob of peanut butter on your pumpkin pie, why would you dollop pumpkin on your PB&J?  The packaging shows the product being served on a cracker.  That's just what I want.  A cracker piled high with peanuts and pumpkin.

 

Pumpkin Spice Gum

     This gum starts out tasting like a slimy stick of nasty cinnamon that loses its flavor within the first two minutes. Then it morphs into a stiff, elastic wad of nothingness.  If you're looking for a guilt free alternative to a pumpkin cream cheese muffin craving, this sugar-free anathema is not your friend.

 

Pumpkin Spice Pringles

     These crunchy little spice horrors are the ultimate treacherous pumpkin spice product.  Everything that's good about a Pringles chip is totally wiped out by the addition of pumpkin spice, and everything good about pumpkin spice is negated by a weird faux potato aftertaste.  Sorry, Pringles Man, even your cute little mustache can't make this right. 

 

     Have you ever tried a food that should never have been laced with pumpkin spice?  What was it?  Share your Fall Girl Culinary Fails in the comment section below.